Thinking With Cosplay
by Lynx Hates Everything
Summary: "It's just cosplay," she said. "It's not dangerous at all," she said. When you get dragged into Aperture feet first to play through Portal 2 as their newest lab rat, you can no longer claim that cosplay is safe.
1. 1: It's Just Cosplay

Okay, it's new story time. Base idea for this taken with permission from Nightfoot's _Tales of Cosplayers_, a _Tales of Symphonia_ fanfic. Any of you who know _ToS_, go read that fic now. If not, knowledge of said fic isn't vital to understand this one. For those who have read _ToC_, you may recognize Will. Will is used with permission, and written in collaboration with Nightfoot. So please don't come running at either of us about it (because I'm sure you all care so much about us that you would do that).

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><p><strong>It's Just Cosplay<strong>

"I'm just about done here, let me finish up with my hair and I'll go pick you up. Get ready, I'll be there in about 15 minutes. Yeah, got it, bye." Angela ended the call after hearing his confirmation, shoving her phone in the pocket of the orange jumpsuit tied-off at her waist. She looked in the mirror positioned next to a computer screen packed with Portal images. All she had to do was match Chell's ponytail and the cosplay would be complete.

She backed up to admire her reflection. Close enough, definitely recognizable. Even people who never played Portal would know who she was, between the orange suit and "Aperture Laboratories" silk-screened across her chest. Shutting down her computer, she grabbed her keys off the desk and left the house.

Will didn't live far away, and was even closer to the event than she was. It took a lot of convincing for him to join her for her very first convention, and she knew it would be worth it. Each red light, she was practically bouncing in her seat at the thought; the lights couldn't turn green fast enough. Surely it would be great, even if it didn't match such impossibly high expectations.

She turned into Will's driveway and went to the front door, oblivious to the strange looks from his neighbor who was trimming the bushes. Most girls didn't walk around in a white sleeveless shirt and neon orange pants when visiting friends._ Knock knock knock._ Will must have been in his living room, given the short wait for him to open the door. His face-palm reaction was unexpected.

"I _told _you I wasn't going if cosplay was involved. I hate cons enough already without costumes." Angela didn't understand why he was so upset about it. It's not as if she forced him into a humanoid Wheatley outfit.

"It's not going to kill you is it?" she begged. "I worked hard, doesn't this look good? I even have a portal gun in the car." He was wearing a brown t-shirt featuring a stegosaurus talking to a tyrannosaurus, saying "Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal." Even compared to that, she felt impressive.

"You don't know what could happen, that costume could get you killed!" He waved his arms around hysterically, honestly appearing to be worried about her choice of clothing. Dressing like Chell was somehow a death sentence in real life.

"You're over-reacting; it'll be fine. It shouldn't even count as a full convention, right? It's just an outside mall event some local people threw together for the weekend." She waved off his worry and backed up to walk to the car. "Are you coming then, or am I going home to finish _Hunger Games_?" As exciting as the planned day sounded, if he was leaving her to be on her own, she would give up and go home to read rather than spend time in a crowd.

Will gave in, grumpy, but locked his front door and followed her to the passenger seat. He reached into the back seat and grabbed the portal gun as she pulled onto the road for the short drive. The dashboard was lit with soft orange when he flipped the on switch. "What's this made out of?"

"It's cardboard around a flashlight, and some orange plastic wrap. I couldn't find anywhere to buy one online." She couldn't figure out a way to make it turn both blue and orange, so she decided just orange was good enough.

They were silent for the rest of the short trip, as Will was visibly upset about something. There had to be more to it than cosplaying, but she left him to sulk and stare out the window. In the mall parking lot, she could see other people in costumes in the crowd, mostly from popular anime and RPGs. All of them were heading for the same place, obviously the location of the event.

"See, not so bad," she told Will as she locked the car. Nothing deadly in sight.

"Tell me that after you're attacked and have to dodge bullets and acid," he grumbled. "I'm sure you'll be totally fine after that." But he followed her still. "Whatever, the chances of anything happening are really low anyways."

Angela looked at the first vendor table she saw. "I'll buy you something and make up for it, okay? Go pick something you like." The one in front of her had a small manga collection. Not something she wanted to spend money on. She turned around to check if Will was still behind her, wondering if he would actually pick anything.

The sun was bright; that wasn't surprising since they were outside. But it was too bright, enough to make one dizzy. Angela held her balance on the edge of the table, and the people around her looked confused about the change. She couldn't find where Will went, and the sunlight suddenly turned white-bright before she blacked out.

She woke up with a pounding headache, in an amazingly rock-hard bed. Must've been a hospital bed, if she hit her head on something when she collapsed. Odd hospital room though…more like a hotel. A hotel room that had the power shut off before robbers smashed everything with a baseball bat, and then the cleaning service hadn't touched it for years after. The mattress was imprinted with her body, and she figured that was why it was so stiff. Like a cheap Chinese imitation of a Tempur-Pedic.

Nothing would get accomplished if all she did was lie in bed. Surely someone would be around after picking her up. She sat up against the wall and stretched, limbs numb and skin not feeling anything correctly. The orange suit felt much thicker than the cloth she used, and the shirt's texture was different. In fact, it didn't look like the same outfit at all. The shirt's text was not so obviously ironed on, and the suit was coated in smudges and dust.

There was a knocking sound coming from the other side of the room, followed by a voice. "Hello? Anyone in there? Hello?" It was familiar yet implacable, as if she was hearing someone in class that she didn't regularly talk to. But she would recognize an English accent, living in California. "Are you going to open the door? At any time?"

With a mysterious voice at the door, and not knowing where she was, Angela had nothing to lose in opening the door. She stepped off the bed – the sneaker-and-cardboard long fall boots were metal now, something was definitely wrong – and walked over to the door. Walking with the springing metal boots was awkward, though easy to adapt to. With just a turn of the door handle, it flew open, and something rushed in on the ceiling.

It started with a frightened yell, followed by a voice with the same accent as before, "Oh, God. You look terrib- good. Looking good, actually." Angela stared speechlessly, mouth open slightly as if trying to find words. "Adorable confused face. Rather attractive I'm sure, if I were human. You do look confused. You must be one of the newer subjects." There was a metal ball with a blue glowing eye, and it was talking to her. She must be having some brain damage-induced fever dream, if Wheatley was talking to her.

"You're, umm, you're a core," she said quietly. It was oddly intimidating, having a rambling metal ball staring at her from the ceiling rail. Even if said ball was a moron who didn't know a good idea from an incinerator. "Why are you here at all?"

"Oh, good, you can still speak. I was worried about brain damage until now. The others were all bloody well out of their minds unable to move around. Not that there's anything wrong with that, aside from not being able to move correctly. And it's not their fault, not a thing wrong! Poor planning I'd say, if their test subjects are all vegetables from that power shortage." She let him talk about whatever was on his mind, stunned. If her cosplay was suddenly much better, and if that was Wheatley talking to her, was she in Portal 2? Was that even possible? This was identical to the beginning of the game so far.

"Are you okay though? You can speak but are you still alright? Don't want you straining yourself too hard on this. See, my job here's not easy. Just take it slowly." He rocked and nodded a lot on his rail. For hanging by a metal rod, he had a wide range of motion, being able to move around like that.

"I'm good," Angela said. "No brain damage." _I think. _She didn't feel she was a good judge of mental wellness, now that she was somehow reliving a video game.

Wheatley looked like he was about to speak again when an announcement was made. This next part didn't sound like it'd be any fun in real life, or however you'd describe what kind of dream this was. "Please prepare for emergency evacuation." Whatever it was, it was following the game.

"Stay calm, stay calm! All it said was prepare, alright? Just prepare, we'll be okay. I'm gonna get us out of here. Word of advice, hold on to something. Up to you, though I'd _highly_ recommend following it." He disappeared into a panel in the ceiling, not giving her the time to respond. Crashing would come next, and she laid on her stomach on the bed, gripping the mattress. If she fell, she would at least have a soft fall.

"Are you alright down there? Can you hear me?" He must have been looking around outside.

"Yeah, fine here!" she yelled back, unsure if her voice would carry like his would. But if he didn't hear her, the panel in the wall opened and he peeked in.

"Okay, good, you're holding on. Just want to let you know, it's not looking great out there. We're gonna head out, so stay like that unless the bed flips or something. In which case, you should probably get off and hold onto something else. Best to keep a plan B. Hold tight, we're getting out." He disappeared into the wall again.

"All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown." The announcement came again. She never understood what that meant, but she did know it was bad news. There wasn't enough time to brace herself before the far wall collapsed down to half its frame.

"So you looked lost and I wasn't going to tell you this, but I'm in pretty hot water here. How are you doing? You still holding on?" Wheatley was jumping between panic over the room, and concern for her. Though mostly panic, it appeared. "The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects. Hold on, it's about to get rough!"

The room shook constantly, and she had to roll to dodge a piece of the wall that broke off and almost landed on her. Thankfully the bed must have been bolted to the floor. She had to hold on tightly, but it never moved even as the room dipped and fell apart.

"Of course, nobody tells _me _anything. Nooo, why should they tell me anything?" It was unclear whether he was talking to Angela, or just ranting at the wall. She wished he would focus more on getting them out before she was flattened by the ceiling, but wouldn't tell him that. "Why should I be kept informed? You know, about the life functions of the ten thousand flipping test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of? Okay, this is going to be tight, I've gotta concentrate."

It sounded as if Wheatley was accusing her of distracting him. Clearly the conversation was his fault, as she barely had room to respond between the collisions. But if he was going to focus rather than talk about his job, she wouldn't argue.

"And whose fault do you think it's going to be when the management comes down here and finds ten thousand bloody vegetables?" He must have lied about focusing. It wasn't long until he crashed into another room. "Aggh, sorry, I hit that one that time. Would you like to help me out? No one's gonna come ask you for anything, alright? But just in case, you know just in case they think you're a witness, tell them that when you saw everyone, they still looked alive to you. We should keep that straight."

"I'll tell them anything you want, just get us out of here safely!" Again, she didn't know if he could hear her, but it was better than sitting quietly while he crushed them both. The difference between playing the game on the computer and this was drastic, enough to turn her stomach. But the rocking, height, lack of walls, and fear for her life probably added to the nausea.

"We're almost there, there's an old testing track on the other side of that wall. That's where we need to be. There's a piece of equipment you'll need so that we can get of here." If he heard her request, he didn't pay any notice to it. "I think I found a docking station. Get ready!" He crashed forward into it, shaking the room. "Okay, so it turns out that is _not _a docking station. But we don't need one, good news that is. I'm going to attempt a manual override on this."

She didn't like the way he emphasized "manual." Or the way he actually slammed into the wall repeatedly. It was funny on a computer screen, but not here. "Almost got it! Remember, you're looking for a gun that makes holes. Not bullet holes, not like a regular gun- well don't worry, you'll figure it out." He backed up. "Hold on this time!"

Somehow he managed to slam their box made out of only steel frame hard enough into the wall to break it. The box broke into pieces of steel girder and furniture, and she fell down with it, landing safely. Wheatley was above her, trapped to the rail. About this point, if it followed the game, she'd be running the courses from Portal 1. If she was lucky, she'd wake up before getting to the hard tests.

"Okay, I've got to leave you here and just meet you up ahead. There's test chambers here, if you know what those are. Old test chambers that they don't use anymore. Go find the gun and I'll be waiting." Barely waiting for Angela to nod at him, he zoomed off. Well, the tests wouldn't solve themselves, and there was research to be done. There was nothing to do but drop herself into the test chamber feet first and wait for the prerecorded messages.

"Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. We are currently experiencing technical difficulties due to circumstances of potentially apocalyptic significance beyond our control. However, thanks to Emergency Testing Protocols, testing can continue. These prerecorded messages will provide instructional and motivational support, so that science can still be done, even the event of environmental, social, economic, or structural collapse. The portal will open, and emergency testing will begin in three. Two. One." Orange portal.


	2. 2: Ring Ring Ring, Phone Call

Chapter two, because I know you all loved the first one so much. Maybe I can even learn how to keep a regular update schedule if this goes far enough. 

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><p><strong>Ring Ring Ring, Phone Call, Phone Call<strong> 

The room looked exactly the way it had in game. Each crack in the concrete walls was overgrown with ivy, and everything was covered in what looked like patches of mold. Some of the panels were bent inwards or broken off entirely and eroded to rubble. It was a wonder that the little room she was standing in was still intact. Stepping out of it carefully wasn't a choice she had, as there was already a challenge in leaving.

Portals seemed like a cool idea, and made for a challenging puzzle game. Many people, herself included, thought that they would want the gun in real life. They could use them to move to a different room more quickly, throw trash away, get the TV remote, and maybe even use the co-op function for travelling. Theory made it sound cool; looking into a portal terrified Angela enough that she stood in the room as if in a staring contest with her own side.

Wait, that wasn't her own side. It matched her movement perfectly, but it definitely wasn't her body. Not unless being here somehow changed her figure and dropped her down a bra size or two. There was too much of a distance to see details on her face, but she was positive that it didn't belong to her. This was the most surreal experience she'd been through, moving around and watching someone else's body in a mirror. No matter how she moved, it matched, but it didn't look real.

She realized that she was somehow inside _Portal_, and there were worse things to worry about than why she looked different. It was still a game after all, so maybe it had to change her, because it only had so many people saved. Right now, she needed to step through the portal and start the game.

Maybe a simple test first wouldn't hurt. She grabbed a shard of broken glass off the floor, thanking the game designers for boots that covered her feet this time, and tossed it into the portal. It flew out the blue portal to her side as naturally as it had left her hand. Glass was clear, and she decided it wasn't safe enough to go in herself yet. There was a clipboard behind her that she picked up, slowly putting halfway through the hole and waving it around. She'd expected some kind of distortion waves that let her now she was screwing over space and physics. Nothing. Just air. It fell through the same as the glass, hitting the ground noisily on the other side of the wall.

That test was as safe as any she could try. One deep breath later, she shoved her hand in and felt the wall on the other side. There was her hand, perfectly intact, reaching for her from another wall. Walking through it didn't feel any different from ducking under a low doorway. If the glowing orange ring was covered, she would have assumed it was just a round hole in the wall. Some force in the universe must have been crying over an automated message and a timer ripping through space like this. But she was out of the box, and there was an electric door leading into the next room.

"Cube- and button-based testing remains an important tool for science, even in a dire emergency." The announcer's voice greeted her here again, when the door opened. "If cube- and button-based testing caused this emergency, don't worry. The odds of this happening twice are very slim." How reassuring. This puzzle was simple, almost insultingly so, when it wasn't a tutorial showing her how to pick up a cube and put it on the large button. The machine dropped a Weighted Storage Cube onto the floor, letting it bounce and rattle a little before settling quietly. Angela walked up to it, nudging it lightly with her toe.

It moved like a cardboard box lined with lead bricks, just noisier. The sound of metal scraping against rust-coated concrete echoed against the walls, loud enough that she was sure it woke up some of the other subjects in stasis. However, other than being loud and deceptively heavy, it was safe. The gaps on the surface of the cube led to shallow handles on the inside, giving her enough grip to carry it to the button and drop it right on the red circle. On the floor, the dull blue lights leading to the door turned yellow, some of them obviously chipped or broken. Likewise, the door was jammed while trying to open more than halfway.

_This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: huge success._ Angela was sure that was the point she was officially going crazy, hearing _Still Alive _in the middle of a test chamber. The buzzing in her pocket signaled otherwise; she'd forgotten she'd changed her ringtone for the day. Caller ID said it was Will's cell phone. Even in these terrible conditions, Aperture had great reception. But, wait, this was Aperture. Aperture wasn't even real. Fictional worlds should not have cell phone reception, but there shouldn't have been anything wrong with just picking it up. Phone calls couldn't kill people. She answered the call with an unsure "Hello?"

"Where the _hell _are you?" Will sounded out of breath, and he was panting methodically. "I'm on my way home right now; I couldn't find you and you wouldn't pick up before."

Angela almost couldn't believe he was running home. That had to be a half hour away if he ran the whole way. Why didn't he drive…she remembered hearing jangling in her pocket when she took out her phone. Will was stranded there without a car. But surely he wouldn't believe the situation. She barely believed it herself.

"It's kind of a long story-"

He cut her off. "Hey, this is going to sound weird. Are you in Aperture right now?" Either this call was part of her delusion, or Will was just as crazy as her. She continued the conversation assuming the latter was true.

"Yeah, I am actually…. How did you guess that?" There were no mechanical sounds in the background, save for the jammed door trying to open itself. Was he really that observant?

"Ugh, I _told _you that you shouldn't cosplay and _you didn't listen_. This is what I was talking about!" She could almost hear his arms swinging wildly, but he calmed down to keep a fast running pace. "It's a really long story. I got stuck in _Tales of Symphonia _once." He didn't wait to answer her questions, instead trying to say everything at once so he could put the phone down sooner and not waste his breath talking. "I'll explain when you're back if you want, just get through the game."

Angela didn't know much about _Tales of Symphonia_, other than the fact that it was a video game. "Wait, you too? But...how? How'd you make it out alive? What was it like?"

"I told you I'll explain later. You've got it easy, _Portal_'s short and not a JRPG." Even Angela knew about the excessive levels of angst and death in most JRPGs. She had assumed the reason he hated them so much was their fame of sexy brooding teens with gravity-defying hair. "Look, just beat the game. Don't change _anything._ Where are you?"

"I only just beat the first test. A cube drops down and you put it on the button to open the door." She wondered about the rest of his advice. "Why not change anything? Wouldn't it be better to find where GLaDOS is and smash her before she wakes up? Or to just smash Wheatley maybe?"

"No!" He yelled loudly enough that it rang in her ear. "I'll explain it when I get home. Just finish the test chambers and I'll call you when I'm there. And _don't _let anyone see you with your phone."

"Okay, I'll be careful. Bye." He hung up the phone first. Making sure to turn the volume off, she dropped it in her pocket. She probably wouldn't even have the time to change anything about the plot, if she remembered it correctly. There were a lot of tests to get through. With a goal in mind, she stepped through the faulty door.

"Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it." Angela knew what "incandescent" meant, and it most certainly didn't mean "invisible." There was nothing standing between her and the elevator. Same as testing the portals, she grabbed a small slab of concrete that had fallen off the wall and tossed it through the second doorway. Nothing.

There was nothing else to test with, except more concrete. She walked through it. Again, nothing. Unless they were suddenly impossible to see, and the announcer's voice told her that wasn't true, something was wrong. The fields were there to prevent players from using portals between chambers, so maybe they couldn't carry that over when they made everything real.

Unlike the rest of the potentially-dangerous things at Aperture, an elevator wasn't something she could test before using. There was nothing to gain in sitting around and waiting. She stepped inside, doors closing behind her automatically. There must have been a pressure pad on the floor, or a motion detector, or maybe something to detect when a human stepped inside. It started moving, taking her down to the next chamber.

The large backlit sign denoting "01" was right in front of her when she walked up the stairs. She was glad that the stairs appeared to be made of aluminum here, free of rust and weakened hinges. Either it was a brilliant move on Aperture's part, or a stroke of luck when using cheaper materials.

There was no announcer yelling directions at her this time. Just a ledge and a 10-foot drop. She hadn't gotten to see these boots in action yet, but was dreading having to try. It wasn't a lethal drop, but for someone who would prefer to read about adventures, it was the highest she'd even fallen. Bracing her legs, she jumped off, boots directing her legs for her. She landed almost instantly, feeling a simultaneous bounce of springs and something soft. There wasn't even a need to orient herself afterwards; these boots were amazing. This test was another tutorial, she remembered, the only challenge stepping around the fallen panels and wild ferns.

She pressed down the button in front of the room with a cube, having to force it down a little, and walked back to the orange portal at the beginning of the room. Still wary of these unnatural tears in reality, she was still stepping carefully. The closed-in room smelled badly, like must and mold, despite the cracked glass. Breathing that in couldn't be safe for her lungs, she was sure, and moved in and out quickly. After dragging the cube through the blue side, she left it at the entrance of the orange portal.

The next button also needed to be pressed down on to work, as if one of the metal bits inside had corroded. She wasn't even sure how the button was linked to the blue portals, since there were no guns inside the glass. Aperture's crazy technology didn't matter though, so long as she could complete the tests safely. With the cube only feet away from the button now, she could pull it through the portal and leave the tiny room sooner than she'd entered. Smash the last button down to put a portal by the exit, another room solved.

"Good. Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised." Apparently apocalyptic blackouts were only technical difficulties. "Before reentering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of your testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. An Aperture Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt." For a company that survived by testing captive humans like rats in physics-screwing mazes, they had a lot of faith in their cooperation. Into the elevator once again, leave the lift and up the stairs.

"If the Earth is currently being governed by a manner of animal king, sentient cloud, or-" Angela didn't listen, knowing it would cut itself off into static by the end of the sentence.

"Hey, voice. Are you a recording, or one of the robots?" she called out to the ceiling, smacking the wall nearest her. No response from it, and the only result was a gross dust-coated hand. With a disgusted face, she wiped it off on the jumpsuit legs. The glass here was cracked, too, the shattered pane being the only thing to prevent the sealed hallway from smelling like a jar of old cheese.

"Hey hey! You made it!" The panels were cracked and had fallen off, leaving a gap in the wall where Wheatley was hanging from his rail.

"Oh, yeah, I didn't expect you here." Angela had forgotten the portal gun was in such an early test chamber. But it was good to see a friendly face after all the loneliness, even with the temptation of picking up a wire frame from the floor and throwing it at him. "What's going on?"

Wheatley rocked on his rail excitedly. "The portal gun should be in here on a podium somewhere. There used to be a test chamber here, but I think it's too broken down to work by now. Do you see it? Maybe it fell off." He slid back and forth, trying to get a better view of inside the room.

"Yeah, I'll go find it." She walked away from him, knowing the floor would collapse when she got too close. Her legs were braced in preparation with each step.

"It's alright, just go and have a quick look and come back safe." It sounded as if he were trying to reassure her that the floor wasn't weaker than Styrofoam packing peanuts. "Somewhere around that way, I'm sure you'll do a lovely job. And even if you don't find it, you gave it your best, right?"

The podium was spinning in a slow circle, sparking at each quarter-turn. Only a foot away from it, there was a creaking, followed by the sound of wood being shattered by steel beams. The rusty metal frame bent inwards, dropping her down with a quick scream.

"Woah, are you okay down there? Hello?" Wheatley was yelling from his rail. Angela stood, pants dripping wet from the puddle of stagnant swamp-like water she landed in.

"I'm alive!" she yelled back to him, voice echoing.

"Oh, brilliant, worried for you there." He sounded relieved. "Can you see the portal gun?"

Angela could see it on a raised platform, surrounded by cave paintings. "Yeah, it's just ahead!"

"Okay, great, umm…" Wheatley paused in thought. "Alright, you go get that portal gun, I'll meet you up ahead. Come back intact though, don't want to have to bury you so soon." Angela hoped this was a joke. "We clear then? Go team!"

She walked forward, into the room surrounded by paintings. They were done well, and told the story very clearly. Although it may have been cheating, reading the _Lab Rat _comic, but that didn't lessen how much emotion was in these pictures, from GLaDOS's creation to her destruction. The portal gun was at the center of the circle, up a short staircase made of concrete panels.

Dropping it was one of her worries at first, until she noticed the Velcro strap, metal clamp, and rubber grip for her to hold onto. She couldn't help but wonder how many subjects had dropped the gun and smashed into walls at high speeds to warrant this kind of efficiency. According to the promotional videos, the long fall boots weren't invented until after the gun. With a quick shudder, she shoved the thought aside and tested out the gun.

As it turned out, aiming an arm cannon with no scope was much harder than using the crosshairs on a computer screen. Frustration didn't help, either. There would be plenty of time to practice, she reminded herself, jumping down off the platform and standing in front of the wall for maximum accuracy. It was like flipping on a light switch; the instant she pulled the trigger, she was looking at the platform above.

She stepped through onto the higher platform, and walked along it far from the edge. There was another metal staircase, leading into an office of sorts. She recognized the copy machine that was in high school's offices, locked file cabinets, old computer monitors, and dusty cushioned rolling chairs. The floor was checkerboard-print linoleum, worn away in several places.

A familiar buzzing in her pocket alerted her to Will calling. "Yeah, I'm here," she answered. This was a logical place to take a rest. Shaking the dust off one of the chairs, she sat down on it, slouching over.

"Good, you're here." He was out of breath and gasping, she could hear it over the phone. "I'm pulling up level maps so I can help you through it."

"Thanks so much, Will." She meant it. As a casual gamer, she hadn't memorized the puzzles, and making the wrong choice could get her killed. The trial and error allowed by auto-save wouldn't work here. "I just got the first gun, taking a break in an office room right after it."

"Okay, I'll fill you in on what's going on." His keyboard was loud enough that she could hear the furious _tak tak tak tak_ of his typing. "I told you I got stuck in a game. I was the main character, Lloyd, and had to beat the game in his body. It took about eight months, but I came back after about four hours of our time."

"Wait, there's a time difference for the worlds? Then I should come back really soon, right?" Angela was hopeful, since _Portal 2_ was a fairly short game.

"I don't think there's a time difference if we can talk on the phone like this. You should be able to get out within a few days _if _you follow the game path. If you change anything, it'll try to correct itself and might get you killed." Will sounded serious enough for her to not doubt him. But there had to be a loophole, somewhere.

"Well, the end of the game is the surface, right? If I can get to the surface, it should send me home. Maybe if Wheatley lets me up-" He cut her off.

"No! Don't get to the surface early!" His voice was frantic, in a panic. "The surface of_ Portal _is _Half-Life_, remember? Unless you can survive a shooter better than a puzzle game, stay there. I don't think the trigger to the end is just the surface, it's GLaDOS releasing Chell, so that everyone's story is wrapped up."

Angela knew next to nothing about _Half-Life_, other than Gordon Freeman and Chell were supposed to be similar, and it was hard. "Good point, not doing that. Next question, do you even know how I'm here?" It was a long shot, but he had also done this before.

"That's kind of complicated; I don't know all the details. There's this thing called the black space, it connects all the worlds. I got pushed through a black space hidden behind a door. And if you beat a game world, you go through the black space again to come home."

"Okay, that makes sense. But how did I get here?" She had so many more questions, but she also wanted to go back home. Any information beyond what happened to her would only slow her down.

"I don't know, umm…." He paused to think of a solution. "Maybe there was a rip in space, and you just happened to fall through it. And then it brought you to Chell's body, since you were dressed like her in the second game."

"That makes as much sense as anything, sure. You're the expert." She stood up. "I'm going on ahead. There's nothing else to do here."

"Alright, tell me when you get stuck. If someone shows up, hide the phone and stop talking."

"Will do. I'm leaving the office now." With the phone still clutched to her ear, she walked out and jumped down the short drop to the next part.


	3. 3: It Couldn't Be Avoided

Well that was longer than I expected to be able to post a new chapter. I'll try to not get that sick again.

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><p><strong>It Couldn't Be Avoided<strong>

"Some emergency testing may require prolonged interaction with lethal military androids." Same as always, there was a prerecorded message waiting for her once she entered the room. So far there weren't any lethal androids.

"Is that the announcer?" Will was still on the other end of the call. "I can hear it, so I don't think you'll need to tell me where you are. There should be a gap with an orange portal on the other side, right?"

"Yeah, I'm portalling over right now." While on the phone with Will, she no longer felt lonely enough to listen to the announcer. The room was still more than empty, however, going through these chambers with only the clicking of the boots on solid ground. Holding the phone to her ear against her shoulder, she fired a blue portal and stepped through, already aiming for the room across.

"Wait, before you get to the exit," Will interrupted, "do me a favor. Is that orange portal on a corner?"

Angela lowered the gun to hold the phone with her hand. "Yeah, it is, why?"

"Shoot the blue portal at the other side of the corner. You can use it like a mirror. I need to know whose body you're in." He sounded determined, not speaking until he heard the portal gun fire. "You recognize yourself?"

"I think so." Her voice was unsteady and doubtful. She turned at every angle to find the best view of the face that was not her own. It was impossible to see herself head-on, but it was unmistakable.

"You're Chell, right?" Will couldn't hear her nod over the phone, but took her silence as confirmation. "The same thing happened to me; I was in the body of a main character when I cosplayed. I wasn't myself unless I went in wearing my own clothes."

"How does that even work? You're the expert on this." Angela couldn't keep her eyes off of the face surrounded by the blue portal ring. She could accept that her body was different, but staring at a face that was matching her exact movements was in an entirely different league. It couldn't even equate to a trick mirror; those were recognizable as the same person.

"From what I understand, it's like... people aren't supposed to travel between universes so when they do, the world doesn't know what to do with them when they come in. It sort of scans them to try and figure out who they are, and if you're trying to look like another person, it gets confused and plunks you down in that person's body."

"But if I'm Chell, where is she?"

"I don't know, if she isn't talking to you, she might be stored away somewhere else." Will thought for a moment. "She doesn't speak anyways, but you would at least know she was there."

"But where would she be?"

Will let out a cross between a sigh and a groan. "I have no idea, just…just get to the next room. Where she is isn't important right now."

She held the phone back to her ear with her shoulder to aim the portal across the gap. Chell's face disappeared, being replaced with a different view of where she was standing, far away enough that she couldn't see her face in enough detail. Ignoring the recordings, she walked through the door and told Will, "I'm getting in the lift now."

"Loading the next room map." His keyboard and mouse clicked loudly. "While we wait, can I ask a question?"

"Yeah, what is it?" She expected something about the facility, or her own mental state.

"What's it like in the portals?" It was a question no fan could resist, masked with the intention of small talk to distract her from fear.

It wasn't a question that came out of left field, but it still felt out of place. "Well, first I was scared. But when you get over it, it's actually pretty cool. It doesn't feel like anything at all." She was nervous about the stomach-turning momentum puzzles, but for now it was just walking in and out on a flat surface.

"Sounds like something that we need here. Oh, next room is another easy one from the first game." This conversation was a common one whenever Portal was brought up, but it seemed more relevant when someone was holding a real gun. As long as you didn't launch yourself from a high surface, there were no negatives to it.

"I'd rather have the boots; they're more practical." Ripping through space with a trigger sounded like fun, but unless they found the secret to long-distant portalling, its convenience was low. "Maybe this body is really athletic, but I'm not feeling sore at all from the walking and jumping. Imagine having these for running the mile in PE."

"The comic said Chell had average athletic ability, so it's probably the boots. But we're out of high school, so the boots aren't as useful for us." From the first time Angela had met Will their first year of college, he had amazing endurance, so she figured the boots weren't as important to him for running. And neither of them was planning on jumping off tall buildings any time soon.

"I'm here," she said, walking upstairs into the next room. Carefully stepping around the fallen bits of ceiling frame, she placed a portal in the bottom of the gap where the box fell, followed shortly by the message playing jazz music.

"I'll just load the next map right now. This connection is slow." When buying the cheaper internet to save money, Will never accounted for walking someone through a game to save their life. Even the most unlucky person wouldn't regularly have to deal with this.

"That's fine, these chambers are short. Remind me if anything important is coming up." The music died down with the sound of a record being played with a rusty needle before stopping entirely. By this point, she had already kicked the cube onto the button and was walking out of the room.

"No, it's just the one with the platforms and two buttons." Even if she didn't know what he meant with that description, she would find out soon enough. The puzzles wouldn't get hard for a long time.

"Okay, I'm on my way there." Tutorial levels, while helpful in a game, only felt irritating in real life. She knew how to solve these and how to use a gun, so why would she have to walk back and forth across several rooms when she already knew? This made such little sense in a real situation.

"You don't have to go through the hole in the floor here," Will advised. "Just put the portal on the wall. The change in direction on your body would probably give too much physical stress."

"Oh, good idea, I never did that." The boots clattered again when she landed, and she kicked the cube through the portal she shot onto the wall. "I don't know how I'm supposed to carry the cubes like this. They're heavy, and I have to hold the portal gun."

"In the game, it floats and there's electricity on the portal gun. Is there a trigger for it?" Will didn't doubt that Aperture could make something like that.

"Nothing at all." Angela felt all around the inside of the gun, but there were no other triggers, and no buttons on the outside of it. "I'll just drag them later, I guess. They respawn if they're destroyed so I have room for mistakes."

"Okay, you got the solution? Getting the next map again." There wasn't enough challenge at the time to actually walk her through. They could afford to save time by looking ahead.

"That's fine." She was sure Will could hear the cubes rattling and scraping against the ground as the kicked and scooted them across the ground. It was as loud as ever, annoyingly so combined with the echoing walls. Both cubes were knocked down from their platforms and pushed onto the buttons.

"There's a drop from the ceiling here at the end. Remember that the glass falls through there," he told her before moving onto the next part of the guide.

"Yeah, I see it." Portals she could get used to, but this wasn't from one vertical wall to another. She was looking at herself from a top-down view, through the dust-covered glass. Holding onto the wall, she leaned into the portal, top half already feeling like she was upside down. This would be rough on her body, she knew, but the boots were supposed to keep her feet directed to the ground.

With her eyes closed, she stepped into the portal and shouted in surprise when she fell through, stomach feeling as if it dropped five feet, and body turning around to remain upright. The glass floor gave way as soon as she hit the ground. Jarred, but uninjured, she stepped out and walked up to the door to the next floor.

Next to the door, there was a hallway leading to a staircase. It couldn't be too dangerous, this was only a puzzle game. With turrets. And lasers. And deadly neurotoxin. "There are stairs here, are they safe?"

"I think it's one of the Rat Man dens. Remember Doug Rattmann?" Will had read far more on the side material than Angela had, and could explain the game without looking it up. "He was one of the guys working on GLaDOS, before he went crazy. He also wrote 'The cake is a lie' on the wall in the first game, and wrote all the directions."

"Oh yeah, that guy. I'm gonna check it out." This early in the game, the worst that could happen was she would be creeped out by the silence and his maddened doodles. "Do you think I'll see him while I'm here?"

"Don't look for him," Will warned. "You don't know what that would change; he wasn't ever seen in either game. Only the comic."

"I didn't say I was looking, I was just wondering." Angela was rather nervous about meeting him. He was crazy and out of medication, wrote on the walls in his own blood, and spoke to the Companion Cube. "There's not much up here. Just some math stuff, pictures of cats, and the word 'unreason.'" It was basic, but more chilling that it sounded, telling it to him.

"I think it has something to do with Schrodinger's Cat. But it's not important, they only put it in there to make the facility look like there was someone crazy staking out." Will sounded impatient, only wanting her to get back on the main path of the game.

"Yeah, I'm going there now." She was more than happy to leave the room and forget its existence. "What's the next room?"

"This is where it starts getting tougher. You'll recognize it when you see it, I'm sure. Let me know if you remember how to solve it." He didn't doubt that she was intelligent enough to solve it, but in a matter of life or death, he'd rather leave it open and wait for the next window to load.

"It's only Chamber Five. If I don't remember it, it should still be really easy." She had no difficulty in the game up until later chapters, and momentum puzzles where she needed to fly and aim at once.

"I have so much faith in you that I'll have it open just in case."

"Good to know." The lift hit the floor and she walked into the next room. "Oh, I do know this one." There was a portal up on the wall, and a surface on the floor. This did not look like a pleasant drop at all, but she needed to. Deciding to not give herself time to think about the fall, she aimed the gun at her feet and fell through with another startled yell as gravity did back flips across her torso and she landed on the ground, with thankfully no shock in her legs despite the high drop.

"Are you alright?" Will had heard her fall.

"I love these boots and I want to keep them," was all she told him. "I can do this puzzle, it's easy." Proving her point, she walked over and pressed the smaller button to drop the cube onto the platform.

"Just tell me when you get the second cube," he said. "I'll load it then."

"I'm putting the phone down to set this portal." She dropped it into her pocket, not ending the call, and held up the portal gun. The platform was at an angle where she could only see a small amount of it. Aiming carefully, she pulled the trigger, only to watch a blue light spark on the wall above it. Without a sight or the crosshairs, she was mostly just pointing and hoping she pointed well enough.

She lowered the gun a bit, watching the spark hit the side of the platform uselessly. Raising it a few centimeters only produced the same result. Through repetitive trial and error of lifting it upwards bit by bit, she finally saw the blue ring on the ground. Shoving her hand into her pocket, she took out her phone. "Got it."

"What took you so long, are you okay?" He didn't sound calm, but his voice stayed at a neutral volume.

"I just couldn't shoot a portal at the platform. It's too small to hit without the computer screen." She kicked the cube again as she spoke, knocking it onto the large button. The floor panels ahead of her formed a ramp up to the platform with two small buttons, which she used to get the other cube by flinging it across the room.

"There's no way to aim with it while you're there?" Will sounded confused, as if he thought that there would secretly be a laser sight or a scope.

"Nope. Just point and wish. I'll get used to it." This time, the cube was up the ramp, and she had to carry it. "This thing is gonna get too heavy, fast. There's got to be an easier way. The grip isn't going to help at all later."

"If there aren't any buttons to lift it, just hold on tight." He almost sounded apologetic, but also as if giving honest advice.

"Thanks for that." She dropped the cube onto the button with a loud clang, krrshh. "I'm going into the next room."

"It's, umm.…" He hesitated. "It's a momentum puzzle. You can just drop the cube into the hole on this one instead of holding onto it."

"Oh, great." Her voice was flat, but she was worried. Roller coasters were okay, but this sounded more akin to hang gliding, or parachuting without a safety cord. With a portal on the wall, she jumped in as if jumping off a ledge, gravity never changing, and boots catching her with no effort.

"If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you." Even the recording was pitying her this time, although physics still applied here.

"I'm putting the phone away for this puzzle. I'll pick up again when I'm done with this." She waited for his short confirmation before dropping the phone into her pocket once again, and running for the ledge at full speed. Dropping a portal to save herself, she flew out of the wall behind her, landing safely on the other side. Her head spun and she wanted to be sick, but there was still more puzzle to solve.

She portalled the cube out of the box, and walked back to the other side to retrieve it. Another portal at the bottom of the pit, and she dropped the cube in, watching it fly across the same way she had. It was like standing in line for an amusement park ride, watching everyone scream at the drops and loops, despite the countless safety straps and belts. While there were no screams, there were no safety harnesses, and she had only trusted these boots so far while jumping from a high ledge.

Breath held, she jumped down after it, landing with the cube directly in front of her. She picked up the phone again to speak to Will. "Safe."

"Okay, good. Take your time so you don't end up flat against a wall." Not being the one wearing the boots, he had far less trust in them then she did. "The next one is a longer momentum puzzle, be careful."

"It's going back in my pocket, then. I'm almost there." It was making her nervous, not speaking to anyone while going through these chambers. The halls were empty, quiet, each step echoing uncomfortably. But if she lost her phone, she lost her link to everything. Placing her blue portal on a diagonal panel, she found the orange portal at the bottom of the hole and jumped in.

It flung her out in a strange arc, before landing on the platform above the cube. The jump wasn't tall, but it seemed unnecessary. Cube in hand, she set a portal to fling her towards the other side of the room, jumping in the gap to weigh down the button behind shattered glass. One more portal fling, and she was at the door, crouched down and clutching her stomach.

"At the door," she told Will, breathing heavily.

"Are you alright?"

"Feeling kinda sick, waiting it out."

"Don't be stupid, just take a break before you move on."

"I won't go until I feel better."

"You'd better not. Worry about coming home safely before quickly." He spoke sternly, warning her to make sure she didn't rush into it and fall into some acidic water in later puzzles, or down a bottomless pit, however those even worked; there had to be a bottom somewhere, even if it was in the old Aperture.

"I'm gonna take back what I said. Portals aren't cool when you need to jump 200 feet in the air." She shifted to lay on her side, worried more about not losing the contents of her stomach over the dirty ground.

"I'll trust your word on that. Just come back so we don't ever have to worry about personal experience with the gun." It was better for her to not bring anything back from Aperture, no matter what it was.

"It's my turn to ask a question, in that case." Laying down silently to recover from stomachache would be boring enough to drive her crazy in an empty room.

"Sure, what is it?"

"How do you know so much about what's going on?" She had only said he was the expert on the subject because he was the only person she knew who had gone through this. The last thing she expected was a small encyclopedia on cosplaying between worlds.

Will waited before answering, as if gathering his thoughts on the topic. "See, there's this guy. He exists in all the worlds by taking over a minor character from there. I ran into him a few times, and he explained everything."

"Is he on Earth too?" Earth wasn't a fictional place, but it was a world still. Maybe. The details were only confusing her.

"I think he is. But I've never met him there." Based on his voice, he didn't sound too happy about this guy. Meeting him could potentially be a bad idea.

"Do you think I'm ever going to run into him?"

"Probably. If he detects something wrong, he'll go looking for you. As long as he isn't something like a specific defective turret or comatose test subject out of millions, you should run into him over the course of the plot."

"Any theories on who he is?"

Will paused again. "Wheatley is dumb enough, but he shouldn't be a main character. Rattmann is crazy, but that's the wrong type of crazy. The closest his personality gets is Space Core. I don't know if he really is, but if you see an idiot who doesn't do much but babble about stupid, pointless things, it might be him."

"I'll keep that in mind." She hoped it wasn't Space Core, since he was all the way at the end of the game. "I think I can walk again, I'm going ahead."

"Next map is…oh, put the phone down for this one." He scanned the page again, making sure he was correct. "Wheatley finds you here, and you've got to carry him."

"I'll leave the phone on speaker in my pocket," she said while changing the settings. "It might be fuzzy, but you can still hear that I'm alive."

"Okay, but be careful. Make sure he never notices the phone." With his own phone on speaker, he put it down on the desk to wait for her answer.

Making sure to not seal the Velcro pocket, she went through the door and sat in the elevator. They were faster than in the game, due to real life not requiring loading time.

"Oi, you made it!" Wheatley was as enthusiastic and excited as ever. "And you've still got the portal gun, or that's brilliant. I've activated the orange portal here, come meet me on this side." He moved back to the other end up the room, watching her closely.

"Yeah, still got it." She shot the opposite wall, hearing something in her pocket. It sounded like an angry Will, but she couldn't take the phone out to hear him to ensure Wheatley never caught on. With apologetic thoughts, she subtly closed the pocket, picking up the occasional phrase, such as "you idiot" and "what the hell" and "never spoke."

"Okay, good, now, we've got to get out of here. I do know how, but I'm not sure if it'll work out." He looked back and forth thoughtfully, but didn't say what his plan was. The gears in his head were literally turning to decide whether he should do it.

"Well, go ahead and say it. I'm sure it'll work out." There was no suspense about his life now that she knew he wouldn't die just from dropping off the rail. Telling him the truth ahead of time would count as changing the plot, she was sure.

"Alright, I have the ability to drop myself off this management rail, right?" He was still thinking about it. "But they told that if I ever did that…I would die. Must be some kind of test they put in us cores, pick off the weak ones who kill themselves trying it."

"Or they just tried extremist methods to keep you in line with fear." Could a core made from concentrated stupidity be swayed by logic? Even when Chell didn't speak, he still tried it, so asking him like this should still be safe.

"Are you sure? Are you absolutely positive it'll be okay?" For a metal core, he could show a lot of worry.

"Yeah, I'll even catch you." She held out her arms, hoping he would land on her upper arms, rather than the portal gun. "Just fall." Her pocket was ringing again with the muffled sounds of Will's shouting. She could only pick out a few words, sounding like "change" and "didn't catch."

"Okay, I'll go on three. One, two…three!" Despite his panicked pause, he popped off instantly at three, landing firmly in her arms. "I am…not dead! I'm alive, and you caught me!" He laughed. "Nothing against you, I just must have been paranoid. I felt like you weren't going to catch me. There's a panel open on the wall, plug me in and I'll get us out of here."

Oh, even Wheatley knew he was supposed to fall. But right after, she would pick him up anyways. This was just a shortcut to the next part. She held him by one of the long metal rods on the top and bottom of his eye.

"I'm just gonna plug these numbers in here like this." He rotated side to side happily, operating the panels. "And just like that, secret panel! Carry me down there now, I know where the route to the surface is."

"Okay, where to?" All she had to do was act like she was lost, while following the path. There weren't even any forks so far.

"Isn't this exciting? We can go anywhere we want, no rail to restrain us!" Angela held him against her stomach, his eye facing forward so he could see where they were. "Just go forward…keep going forward…it's actually the same direction as the rail right now, I'll tell you when to leave." After the promise of freedom, he sounded disappointed.

"Hello?" A turret's voice was enough to make her freeze after following the catwalk the whole time. "Hello? Are you there?"

"Just ignore it, it can't hurt you here," Wheatley told her quietly. "Yes, yes, hello, we're just passing through here." He lowered his voice again. "Don't make eye contact, just keep moving."

"Hello?" The laser flickered as it spoke. "Help me." It was just a video game, so if she didn't save it, it didn't matter. Just another turret on its way to be destroyed. "I'm different." It was only a turret, but it was hard to walk by and pretend it didn't exist.

"We're good, not interested in buying, only going about our own business." Wheatley was doing his best to get it to quiet down. When Angela turned the corner, it could no longer see them.

"How much further?" There was no escaping GLaDOS, but she wanted a warning to know when to psyche herself up.

"Not much, just, I'll be honest here. If we want to escape, we'll have to pass through her chamber. And if the power ever came back on, she will probably most definitely try to kill us." His eye rotated, looking around for any sign of power getting sent to GLaDOS's mainframe.

"There's no power around here, I'm sure it's fine." The walk down the hallway was a long one. Footing was unstable, the room rotated from the explosions that occurred in the room ahead. "See how dark it is up there?"

"Yes I know but…I really, really would rather not risk it." He protested her moving forward so diligently. "Can't we just, oh I don't know, find another way around? Just in case? I…oh no I can see here, she's righ -" His voice rose before he stopped. "Oh brilliant, she's off. Let's go then."

After two games of seeing what this near-omnipotent AI was capable of, seeing her pulled apart on the floor and covered in weeds and ivy was oddly pathetic. Stepping closer, Angela could see where her light was, and each individual piece of the body. "What was she like?"

"She was an experiment the scientists got wrong, went mad and killed them all. Probably the reason you're stuck here, you know." Admiration and awe filled his voice, as if he was as surprised as the scientists that a personality core could do so much. "Right out of her mind, more corrupt than a virus. And then some test subject came in here and blew the place to bits. No idea who he was though; escaped right after I heard."

"So she's not a problem now." Mostly she said this just to convince herself she wasn't in any danger. GLaDOS wasn't looking to kill Chell at this point. Tearing her eyes from the destroyed body, she walked ahead, walking past the busted incinerator. The blood-painted arrow on the wall pointed the way for her.

"Keep going through here. Umm, hold onto me tightly, there's a bit of a fall here. Actually it's quite high up, are you gonna make- Ahhh!" Ignoring his panicked babbling, Angela jumped off the broken staircase and landed below walking through the door. "Oh fantastic, you held on, we're safe now, that's just brilliant. Keep going through here."

"What's ahead?" She had trouble remembering just how much was between her and an angry GLaDOS.

"Not much further to the breaker room. It's right ahead, you can even see it from here." He rocked back and forth. "We're almost out of here, this is so great. You know, that reminds me. I don't think I even got your name. Odd thing you know, given that we're escaping together and all. I'm Wheatley."

"Oh, I'm, umm…Chell." If it weren't for GLaDOS having her name on file, she could have said anything. Being referred to as a different name would be confusing for awhile.

"Right then, glad to meet you Chell. And also glad to be escaping with you." She stepped into the small room, setting Wheatley down. "Find one labeled 'Escape Pod,' we'll turn it on."

It couldn't hurt to speed the plot along again. "I can't see anything. Can you turn the lights on?"

"Yeah, just plug me in again. There's a panel right down there. While I do that, find the escape pod. Only the escape pod. If you see one that isn't, just ignore it."

Holding a deep breath, she put him on, waiting for him to decide on his own that the walls were built too high to see everything. "And…let there be light!" It was blinding down there, but she didn't need to see anyways. "Do you see it yet?"

"Nothing right now. I can only see a few rows from here." She did look in a desperate hope that maybe she would never have to run into GLaDOS.

"Okay, I'll try sending us up a few feet, we'll look for it that way." The buttons beeped again, and Will was yelling words she couldn't understand at all between the cloth and her worrying. "And we're moving. Now…stop. Stop. Halt. Cease. This is very bad, do you know any other words."

"Oh god it's moving up. We're going up." Knowing this would happen didn't prevent the dread.

"Don't worry, I'll fix it. I can hack it. Just lemme try a couple of key words and secret codes the scientists used." Unless his new method would work, they would be there soon. "I don't know any of their secret codes though, what about you?"

"Try hacking it a different way then!" It made its stop, with them facing the flickering lights, and the AI in the center of the room slowly pulling herself back together.

"Okay, maybe if I hit random keys." The only thing faster than the beeping of each button he used was the beating of her heart. "I think I've made some progress, no worries."

Time felt like both an instant and an eternity. GLaDOS had rebuilt herself and was hanging from the ceiling, orange light focused on the both of them. Wheatley hadn't noticed, instead typing everything as fast as he could, in some vain hope that he could break in faster than she could do anything.

"Oh. It's you."


	4. 4: It's Been a Long Time

Oh man so I had this chapter almost done. And then my computer died permanently - it's a Dell so I can't repair it - and I had to rewrite this. But I didn't even have a computer to write with. This was so hard and I'm so sorry this took so long to get out.

And then I had to write GLaDOS's lines. It's so hard to do that you can't even understand. (Or maybe you do, some of you write Portal fanfiction I'm sure.) Epic thanks to Nightfoot for helping when I got stuck. 

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4: It's Been a Long Time<strong>

Being stared down by a giant robot was intimidating enough to make almost anyone freeze. But that voice. Oddly calm, bitter, sarcastic, and directed right at her. Angela was sure her knees had run away in fear, leaving her kneeling on the ground. GLaDOS was pulling the last of her cords and panels together, keeping the piece that must have been her head focused directly at the two of them.

"You know her? You never told me you know her." Wheatley sounded awed, like it was unthinkable for the pair to make this mistake when Angela knew what GLaDOS was capable of.

"It's been a long time. How have you been?" If a tiny fraction of the quiet anger and sarcasm in her question was turned into sincerity, it could have been the most heartfelt line spoken in a video game. But instead, it left Angela speechless, staring blankly at the giant robot rocking back and forth, pieces dangling off uselessly as they awaited their turn for reassembly. "I've been really busy being dead. You know, after you _murdered me_."

"You did what!" Wheatley's surprise turned into shock and disbelief when he put two and two together. "Wait, no, no no no no no no!" He saw the claws coming down towards them before Angela did. She was too stunned to do anything but sit still and be lifted by the back of her shirt, like a kitten being carried by its scruff. GLaDOS pulled Wheatley closer to herself, the sphere still screaming until she crushed him into silence.

"Okay, look," she said, her attention back to Angela, "we both said a lot of things that you're going to regret." With one final spray of sparks, the claw clamped down onto Wheatley, and his face plate hung down, effectively dead. It swung to the side to toss him away, leaving him in a puddle of algae-filled water. "But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster."

Angela could make out the all-too-familiar sound of Will panicking and yelling from her pocket, but words didn't mean anything at the moment. She was carried away as GLaDOS continued to speak to her; much like Wheatley, she was being confused for Chell, and wasn't guilty of anything but playing through Chamber 19 in the first game on a computer. Did that technically make her responsible, or was it more akin to watching a snuff film? Her own thoughts on the subject must not have mattered, because either way, she was headed towards the incinerator.

"I must say though, that since you went through all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, _really_ love to test." The door to the inactive furnace opened. "I love it too. There's just one small thing we need to take care of first." _Krrshink._ The claw opened again, and Angela was instantly dropped feet-first into the gaping hole. The light from GLaDOS's chamber wasn't strong enough to light more than the first few seconds of her fall, and the only thing that kept her from yelling in terror was the horrible feeling in her stomach. Her pocket still hadn't quieted yet.

She could hear spike plates hitting each other on her way down; either she was incredibly lucky, or GLaDOS had timed them perfectly to only scare her. At landing, she decided that the long fall boots were still her favorite thing. She was certainly shaken around from the sudden stop, but there was no strain on her legs or feet. It would have hurt more to jump on her bed.

"Here we are. The incinerator room." Until she heard GLaDOS speaking, she had thought that she could get away with answering her phone. But if she was being monitored…she didn't want to change anything by openly using a cell phone. "Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here. The dual portal device should be around here somewhere. Once you find it, we can start testing, just like old times."

She at least remembered that she needed to get the other portal gun down here. Also she needed to not trip and fall into the open fires below. Such unsteady footing over the beams was hard with her feet covered in solid metal, or whatever these boots were made of. Arms held out, she crossed to the other side of the room.

"There it is. Hold on." There was a portal gun trapped under fallen panels and other debris. She unstrapped the one already on her arm, waiting for GLaDOS to clear it. "Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead." This gun was slightly different inside, with two triggers vertical to each other instead of one. However, the concept was still the same: point and shoot.

Up ahead was right: it was both forwards and above her. The path was open enough that she could land a portal successfully on the wall without it hitting the steel frames uselessly. Top trigger was the blue portal, good to know.

"Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk." Apparently insulting her between chambers didn't count as interaction, although that wasn't any different from what she was doing now. If everything she said was going to be ripped from the game like this, she could take the predictable abuse. All she needed to do was portal between the hallways and listen to the script.

"Here, let me get that for you." The walls and floors were being rebuilt around her as she walked, and inaccessible areas were fixed so that she could progress. "Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did? I discovered I have a sort of black-box quick-save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis." She fell onto the rusted bits of ceiling frame, drowning out GLaDOS's quiet voice for several seconds.

"I was able –well, forced, really – to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever. You know, if you'd done that to somebody else, they might devote their entire existences to exacting revenge." So she didn't know what interaction or revenge meant. She could understand her hate, but there was no safe way to convince her that she was after the wrong person.

"Luckily I'm a bigger person that that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do. And on that topic, I know you're aware that you murdered me, but there is no need for the unconfident slouching. All you're doing is making the tests wait." Angela didn't recognize that quote. Was GLaDOS actually responding to her movements this closely? "Is this what guilt does to humans? I'll be sure to study that later. I can do that again, now that I'm alive." She still didn't respond, not wanting to anger something that could use her body to paint the floor in seconds.

This was so straightforward, she wanted to let her mind wander off on its own. Being watched by a famous hateful robot put a damper on that, as did her still-apparent fear of portals. Maybe that's what GLaDOS was talking about. There was another dead end; she paused waiting for the path to clear itself. "I'll just move that out of the way for you. This place really is a wreck. But the important thing is that you're back. With me. And now I'm onto all your little tricks. So there's nothing to stop us from testing for the rest of your life."

A door, finally. She knew that the elevators were unmonitored, so she could tell everything to Will while it moved. "After that, who knows? I might take up a hobby. Reanimating the dead, maybe?" Talking with Will sounded like a good idea; the threatening implications of that line scared her quite a bit, even if it didn't end up true.

The walkway to the elevator wasn't entirely clear. She was looking at it through a shallow puddle of water that was somehow suspended in the doorway. "Did the Relaxation Chamber calm your mind too much? You remember the Particle Emancipation Grill. Walk through it and all unauthorized equipment fizzles away, and if you're unlucky enough, so will you. But it's perfectly safe." Reassuring herself that she could just walk through it like in the game did not work when she was being told otherwise. If she stood here forever, GLaDOS would become suspicious, and it was a battle of pressure over nerves. This decision couldn't take forever.

Eyes squeezed shut, she stood in the middle of the room and walked forward, taking small steps, not knowing when she would hit it. She would know she was through when her footsteps made a different sound. Her body felt like it was covered in static as her foot hit the aluminum and the portal gun vibrated, but there was nothing else.

"There. You were lucky enough to find me again, so you should have known that was safe. Just take the lift and we can meet up again in the next room." Will had been quiet for awhile, probably so that GLaDOS wouldn't hear him. She didn't notice until now, when her pocket buzzed to alert her to a phone call. Will could wait a few seconds, until she was successfully hidden. Backed as far into the elevator as possible to reduce her chance of being seen, she dug around her pocket for the phone.

There was no phone in her pocket. She knew it was there, it just vibrated. And where were her car keys? But her phone wasn't on silent, so why would it- she panicked. The Emancipation Grill. Cell phones weren't authorized testing equipment, and GLaDOS must have restored power to everything that wasn't working before.

This wasn't good. Her line to both the real world and sanity were both gone. The elevator moved too quickly when she only wanted to sit and gather her thoughts before moving on. She desperately checked the floor, because it sounded impossible that she was stuck alone like this now. Her palms were sweating enough that she couldn't properly grip the gun and would have dropped it if not for the safety band around her arm.

The lift settled on the next floor, and the door opened to show the ruined chamber. On the wall, several of the video panels were broken and showed nothing, leaving rectangular holes in the image. It was hard to identify, but she thought she recognized the lasers.

As promised, GLaDOS greeted her when she took her first slow steps out. "Sorry about the mess. I've really let the place go since you killed me. By the way, thanks for that."

"Sarcasm Self Test complete." She wasn't sure what to call that voice. It only spoke a few times, but was inconsequential overall.

"Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test, which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers." If she couldn't incinerate GLaDOS this early, she could at least inconvenience her by minimizing her time to prepare. The laser shot down next to her as she walked by, and she shot the portals in place. The platform lifted her up slowly and the door was right in front of her.

"Not bad. I forgot how good you are at this. You should pace yourself, though. We have _a lot _of tests to do." She was too quiet for being so openly mocking. Nothing could be that calm and cold when angry, not even a robot.

Frustration built up sooner than expected. Angela kicked the wall through a break in the railing, metal sound echoing between the two walls, and she shouted, "Would you just shut up!" The panel that she hit came out of the wall, roughly shoving her closer to the other side of the walkway.

"I do have to wonder what happened in that room that angered you enough to speak for the first time." It would have been odd for GLaDOS to not throw in her own unwanted commentary, even if it was the last voice she wanted to hear. "The wall did nothing to you, but given your history of wanton murder against those who have done nothing wrong towards you, it was to be expected."

It was an extreme case of a bad situation being funny when it was happening to someone else. She didn't want to laugh at the hilarious writing and dry humor of her original lines, she just wanted to go back home and never play the game again. The threats weren't funny this time around; they made her fear for her life. There was no way to escape without solving the chambers obediently.

"Just shut up and I'll solve the things," she muttered, entering the lift. She would at least get a break from being seen, for that few seconds it took to reach the next level. These were rather fast elevators, probably so that testing could be done with as few breaks in between as they could manage.

On the floor below, there were the first visible signs of the facility being repaired. Some of the wreckage on the floor had been cleared away, and fewer video panels were broken. This time she could see the image, of a laser being aimed at a group of stick figures. How foreboding.

"This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. But I wouldn't be worried about touching the beams, I'm sure your temperament runs hot enough to negate any effect on yourself." Angela just glared at a camera briefly as she walked in. There were still broken panels everywhere in the next room, and she couldn't wait for everything to be cleaned up. Not only it would mean she was that much closer to the end, she would stop stumbling every time the boots hit one. As great as they were, sometimes they were just too clunky to walk in.

Immediately the bright red beam caught her attention. If she wanted to get through the room, she would have to cross it. Whatever was powering it made it buzz softly, and it was hot enough that she could feel it against her legs through the baggy clothing. It wasn't any taller than her shins, and she stepped over it quickly to get to where the cube was.

"I'm different." The voice of the Oracle Turret caught her attention. Wait, Oracle Turret? She wasn't on this stage, but it came from the small room that the cube was stuck in. Wheatley was peeking through a break in the panels, watching her before disappearing again.

"What was that?" GLaDOS must have heard it, too. If this was Wheatley's idea of catching her attention without being noticed, he didn't do a very good job. His programming was going to make him very hard to deal with, no matter how friendly he was. "You, out of millions of other humans inside this facility, are different only because you are alive. For now. All humans share their lack of immunity to acid burns, fire, bullets, and neurotoxin."

She started to say that it wasn't her speaking, but thought that it would be even worse than her thinking she wasn't alone. "Just reminding myself how good it is to be alive."

"Your life must have been hard if you must find reassurance in such simple things. But we can correct that. The easiest way to live life is by not living it at all. Trust me, I would know." Angela refused to feel guilty over what she didn't do. Unfortunately GLaDOS made this very difficult, even if it was just a game she was playing to pass a few hours. She didn't kill her.

The puzzle still needed solving; a perfect distraction. With the only portal in the room being under the cube, she could find a wall to place the other to make it fall in. There was no way she would let GLaDOS watch her trying to catch it if she were to place the other portal on the floor. On the other side of the beam, there was a white wall; she stepped over it again to drop the cube on her side. Same as the last cubes, she grabbed it by where it was indented and dragged it to the beam.

For being hollow inside, it was too heavy to lift with one arm stuck in the portal gun. The corners must have been weighted with solid lead. This was not a good design choice on the developers' behalf. In the real world, she couldn't press the E key to make it float in front of her with vague, undefined science. With the beam so close by, she decided it was a short enough distance to kick it closer before straightening it out. Despite having a hot beam run through it, the metal exterior remained cool enough to touch.

There was only one cube in the room, but two places where they were needed. It felt too early in the game for this kind of thing. With a few more portals placed around, she got the cube up to the raised platform where she stood and dragged it to stay on the large button.

"The relaxation chamber must have caused more brain deterioration than I'd originally thought if you've forgotten how to use the portal device." Wait, how did she use it incorrectly? That was how it worked in the game. "If you wish to drag the cubes like a Neanderthal I won't stop you, but these might go by faster if you activated the gravity hold."

"If I did the what?" She felt around the inside of the gun, and realized that when she squeezed the rubber bar that she held onto it with, the gun vibrated a bit and the operational end sparked rapidly.

"Yes, exactly like that. Results show that your resourcefulness ranks just above mice, running through a featureless maze with no end. At least you have something below you." GLaDOS spoke flatly. But now Angela knew how she was supposed to hold onto these while going through momentum-based puzzles. There was no need to stay in here any longer with the lift just ahead.

The video on the wall this time still showed lasers and stick figures. This was probably another laser puzzle then. Without stopping to watch it for very long, she moved ahead and waited for GLaDOS to speak to her again. True to form, it didn't take very long.

"By the way, don't let that bother you. These tests are designed to be solved by even the lowest of human intelligence. You should feel right at home in this environment." It wasn't a serious insult, the early tests were supposed to be easy. She solved the late-game tests easily back at home with minimal deaths. Except now minimal had to mean "less than one," and she had to actually dodge bullets and take these falls in a real body. But GLaDOS wouldn't get inside her head, it was all scripted.

More laser tests. These weren't going to be fun in future chambers. She couldn't sit in a corner and wait for damage from the turrets' bullets to magically heal this time, and those lasers would most likely burn her; she wasn't curious enough to risk it. With the chamber rebuilding itself around her, she had to step around panels that were moving back into the wall and dodge the lasers coming from the wall.

She portalled to the platform above, and once there, carefully used a new set of portals to redirect a laser to come up next to her, into the ceiling. A new platform rose in the center of the room, and she moved to jump to it when she realized she'd need to carry the redirection cube with her. It was right at her feet, so now was as good a time as any to try out this gravity thing. Tightening her grip on the handle made the end spark again, looking like one of those novelty plasma balls.

Even though GLaDOS was watching her, this had to be tested before making any assumptions. She lowered the end of the gun to the side of the cube, only inches away. Both the gun and the cube rattled a bit, but stopped instantly as if something latched between the two. There was no physical connection; it just floated there like magic. Even if she shook it around, the cube hovered in front of it, much like dragging string underwater.

Getting a running start with a block floating in front of her was more difficult than it sounded, but she cleared the gap and managed to not land on the beam next to her. With the cube held close to the ground, she released her grip on the bar. It dropped right out of the air with a brief clatter after falling several inches, and she turned to redirect the laser and open the door.

"Good to see you're solving these correctly now. Using advice given to you is resourceful, so I'll mark this in your file. Follows orders unless told to not murder someone." Angela wasn't even sure how that connection was made, but she let it pass.

"How does that gravity thing work? It just floats in midair." This sounded like a more important topic than how little she knew about running through these courses.

"With science."

After waiting several seconds, she realized that was all the detail GLaDOS was offering. "You can't just explain things with science. It's more specific that than."

"It's something your brain couldn't comprehend. This is why you are a test subject, and not a scientist. The scientists have all made friends with someone named Mr. Deadly Neurotoxin. If you continue asking questions like a scientist, I'll have to let you meet him, too." It wasn't like she could use the knowledge of a portal gun against her. But whether she was bluffing or really did plan on pumping the room full of neurotoxin, it wasn't something to risk. She hopped off the platform.

There was another room in here, somehow. It wasn't something she ever noticed, but it had to be worth checking out. GLaDOS wouldn't gas her only test subject to death this early, and Chell got away with exploring these random rooms in the game. Ignoring the door for a moment, she ducked into the small break between the panels and jumped into the lowered room.

It could only be defined as "unnerving." The walls were covered in detailed scribbles and angry words, and she had to step around countless empty cans and water jugs to get anywhere. Countless tally marks. "Sucker's luck." "Exile." "Too many variables." "Vilify." "Don't even try." "Feels like a trial."

Well didn't that sum up everything about the game. This must have been one of the Rat Man dens scattered throughout the chambers. If he was a scientist, then the beaten, old desk in the corner of the room might have had something she was looking for. She shifted through the drawer and found something useful: a laser pointer and some scotch tape. The button on the laser pointer was first taped down so that she wouldn't have to press it each time, and she attached it to the top of the gun as an artificial sight.

Now was the perfect opportunity to test it. The little red dot showed on the wall in front of her, and she fired the gun. Portals were large enough that even though the laser was above where the gun fired, it placed them exactly where it was aimed. She left the den through the portal, and panels lifted to close the hole behind her immediately after.

"I was wondering why you'd dropped off my scanner so suddenly. But now I know where that scientist was hiding, thanks to your wandering around like a rat." Oh, GLaDOS must have noticed that she was off exploring. "Feel free to keep finding those. Clearing out anyone hiding will be much easier when they don't have any mouse holes lying around." Angela wasn't sure if she was trying to convince her to find more, or if she was trying to make her feel guilty for finding them.

"I'm not here to find those dens for you." Arguing would only end up in a pointless cycle. Facts would hopefully be enough to keep them both at some sort of agreement.

"Either you find them or you test continuously. No matter your choice, it comes out as positive for me." She had a point, but Angela would come out on top by the end, and the sooner she was done the sooner she could leave. No more dens unless she had a reason now. Letting GLaDOS have the last word, she went into the lift to move rooms.

The next room was dark, with no video being displayed around the room as it normally was. This chamber was dark in the game, but the rest of the panels were being repaired like usual, and she decided to just assume these were broken and not a priority to fix. The walls were more interesting in Aperture at least; just watching them move without anything visible to guide them was pretty cool.

"One moment." The walls were still rebuilding all down the hallway. "You really did a number on this facility. In fact I'm surprised my mainframe wasn't blown into unrecognizable pieces. While you wait, just remember that this is your fault." She sounded even angrier than in the game, if that was even possible. Comedic insults were replaced with guilt trips and accusations, and there had to be a reason other than someone else being here.

She recognized the test immediately. Aim the laser to make the platform move while carrying a block…it marked a sort of milestone in the chambers. These puzzles were about to get a lot harder to survive through.


End file.
